


Guilt is Inargueably the Worst Kind of Sadness

by ichigo_otome



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Fluff, Humanstuck, M/M, Poor Kankri, Pre-Established Relationship, Sadstuck, cronus isnt a very good boyfriend, rape mention, this is really short sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-02
Updated: 2015-01-02
Packaged: 2018-03-04 22:12:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3092786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ichigo_otome/pseuds/ichigo_otome
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I love you." You whisper into him, and even though you know you're no good for him and he's not good for you, it's the truth.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Guilt is Inargueably the Worst Kind of Sadness

Your name is Kankri Vantas and you're feeling startlingly lonely. You were sitting on your boyfriends bed, sheets a mess underneath you and covers tossed god knows where, along with an empty bottle of expensive alcohol. His room in general was a mess. Because of you. It was currently 2am, you thought, slightly panicking with a glance at the clock. You let your eyes flutter shut, and tried to push away the thoughts eating away at your mind. 

What if he wasn't coming back? It wouldn't be the first time. What if he had found someone else? You couldn't blame him for wanting someone who could make him happy. What if he didn't love you anymore?

Just the other day you had accompanied him to a party at Meenahs house. He had abandoned you, as he tends to do, and you were left at the disposal of his horrible 'friends'. You're pretty sure he only hangs out with them as an excuse to get away from you. They had put something in your drink, something that made you disoriented and made your skin feel feverish. They laughed after you drank it, apparently your confusion and terror that came with being drugged was hilarious. One person in particular, a tall, lanky, terrifying man named Kurloz had made a show of threatening to rape you just to see you squirm pitifully, the influence of the drug addling your ability to make much more movement than that. Cronus had eventually come to retrieve you, as if you were only an afterthought to his partying. He wiped your tears in the car parked outside and kissed your cheek, and you could still hear strings of drunken apologies being whispered into your ear. Your memory of that night was still foggy, but you think you saw tears in his eyes as he stared straight ahead, afraid of meeting your eye as he drove you home.

You felt your own eyes sting, and hot tears leaked out and splattered against the sheets. You shouldn't of done this. You shouldn't have come to his house in the middle of the night, you shouldn't have acted like child when you found out he wasn't here, you shouldn't have come in his room and made a mess because you were so mad he had left you again. But all too soon you anger had ebbed away and now you felt nothing but guilt.

At some point in you ripping clothes from his drawers and tossing them on the ground one of his shirts had landed on the mattress. You wiped your wet cheeks and dripping eyes on the sleeves of your sweater and lifted it off, shivering and rubbing away the goosebumps on your arms. You gently lifted his shirt off the bed and slipped it on, breathing in his scent. You crawled under his sheets, closing your eyes and just listening to the patter of the rain as it hit the roof. 

You waited. It felt like you had been waiting an hour, two hours. You heard a vehicle pulling into the driveway, a car door opening and then shutting. Key in the door, lock clicking. You heard the front door open and close, the sound of rain briefly amplified before being cut off. You heard his footsteps ascending the stairs and begged yourself to stop crying because he can't see you like this, broken and needy. You hear him step into the room, his room and you hear his breath catch. You expect him to yell, to get angry with you and scream at you for destroying his room and sneaking into his house. 

"Kankri?" The silence is shattered and you freeze. He didn't sound anything but hurt and concerned and you wanted to punch yourself for being such an idiot. You stay silent. You hear him approaching you and his body is touching yours and he's warm and it feels so good you want to sob.

"Baby, look at me." He sounds so gentle you wonder how you could have ever thought he would yell at you. You turn around, sitting up and you didn't realize you were still crying until he wipes your tears away. He looks at you with his blue-gray eyes that make you think of the ocean and takes your pale, trembling hands in his tan, warm ones and you feel yourself being pulled onto his lap and you feel his arms wrap around you and he holds you like he's afraid you're going to break.

You pull back far enough to see his face, and wait for him to say something, anything, because even though he was being nothing but kind to you couldn't help but be afraid and you sort of hated yourself for that. "What happened?" He asks in a whisper of a voice like you're a startled deer in a forest and if he's too loud you'll run away.

The tears start falling again, and you don't blink because maybe if you keep them from falling he won't notice and he won't feel bad for something that's not his fault. "I came over but... you weren't home. I... I thought that maybe you were with someone else and I-" you say it all in a voice so quiet that you're scared he didn't hear you but he did because now he's pulling you closer and kissing away your tears. You leaned back and let him keep kissing you and it was so good and so perfect why couldn't you stop crying?

"Kankri, Doll, you're so sweet and beautiful. How could I ever want anyone else?" Cronus asks you and he brushes his thumb over your cheek, wiping away the last of your tears.

You laughed humorlessly, shaking your head. "How could you settle for me Cronus? I'm such a coward, I can't make you happy." You watch his face carefully as you speak, and makes only a small movement as he shakes his head. 

"You? You think you're not good enough? Kan, all i ever do is fuck up. All I do is hurt you. I'm the one who needs to make you happy." You give him a sad smile and shake his words away, hugging into his chest. 

He kisses your forehead gently, brushing away your curls. "I love you too, Kankri."

**Author's Note:**

> i hope this isnt too awful, since this is the first time that ive written both of these characters. and sorry if theres any typos, i wrote this on my phone.


End file.
